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Sunday, June 21, 2009
captain's log: a firm hold
2:38 PM
I bought my dad a grill yesterday. I barely slept Friday night, but I didn't mind being woke up at 10 in the morning. Dad called and he was asking if I buy him a grill. and may I reiterate: HE WAS ASKING ME. HE DIDN'T TELL ME TO BUY IT. HE ASKED ME FIRST. And I know that for all the good things he has done to my life, he had the right to tell me to buy it. Instead, he asked first.
NO CRYING, BOY!
I'm betting I slept for four hours. Still I knew that my Saturday would be wonderful, so I stood up anyway. Besides, I also knew that I had to get my dad something this Sunday, good thing it's a grill. It's cheaper than a laptop.
Of course he wouldn't know that he's supposed to get a laptop this Father's Day. Don't tell him. Haha.
My dad's simple and humble. A lot of people don't know how smart he is. He's always helped me in math and physics and stuff and he drew me projects that were due next morning. He also taught my older bro. and he's waaay better than me in Arithmetic and Sciences. And people say that I'm good in Math. Hell no, I suck, and I'd usually cry to daddy when it comes to problem solving.
Not anymore. He's taught me well as well. Haha.
My dad's been valedictorian in high school and elementary where I barely excelled. I studied at the same elementary school as him and the same high school back in the Philippines. The teachers knew him.... they knew him well. Unfortunately, I didn't have the brain capacity like his when he was young. Sorry teachers, and yes, I'm his son.
Smart man. Strong ethics. How I wish to possess thee.
My dad has always been an outstanding worker. I lost count on the places where he worked, because they've been competing for his service. He worked as a teacher, engineer, project manager... erm... and more. I forgot. And he's bought a computer when there was no OS except DOS. He needed it for work. He's been doing complicated jobs ever since I can remember. Good thing I was a nosy snotty 3 year old kid back then, thanks to him, I was able to learn and use the computer using DOS at the age of 3.
He's hardworking and realizing his sacrifice would always make me pause. I mean, he had made so many sacrifice just to keep our spirits up; not to mention keep us satisfied. Settling here in Canada, hasn't been a walk in the park and we saw his dedication for the family when he went home coughing real bad. It was still cold outside and we didn't have a car yet. Sure he'd take the bus early morning, but everyday he would still need to walk a distance and wait for the bus. And my dad is very susceptible to cough and colds. Despite the cold weather, the very exhausting job, the pressure of the environment and the weariness, he didn't make a fuss. HELL NO. He didn't make any fuss. I can't stress this more, but yes, not a complain from his mouth. He didn't complain how lame his new *starting* job was and he didn't say anything that would regret him from leaving all our good stuff in the Philippines.
He was already sick, but he was still going to work because he knew what was on the line -- the impression of our future here in Canada. I know, I know. He needs to work even if he's sick, because we need food on our table. BUT... isn't that amazing? He's not supposed to do that.
My dad is also the chauffeur. I've known him driving us around since... ever. Back in the Philippines, he'd usually drive us, me and my bro, from home to the university -- cars are expensive, and no one dared to learn how to drive between us both. Anyway, everyday he'd drive for hours to and from work, pick us up and stuff, and so on. Dude, that's dedication right there.
As for games, oh yeah. He's one player. When we bought the Wii, oh boy. We had fun. My cousin commented that he wished my uncle was like him. He's still playing by the way.
My dad's also a bit lazy, I mean he doesn't go out much often. He also likes to eat. He said it makes him happy. Well, if eating and hanging around at home makes him happy, then problem solved. I'll say it's not so bad living a simple life-- not too many complicated thoughts and one can sleep easy too.
The biggest thing that would always make me stop to ponder is his amount of patience. If I look back and see all the stupid things I did when I was young, oh man, I get pissed at myself. But not my dad. He's a very patient man and how I AM THANKFUL for that.
I know that dad isn't getting any younger. And yeah, he's supposed to be taking it easy. I mean, I don't want to see him tired. He's supposed to relax... he's getting old. But life here isn't simple you know. There's some close relatives back home that need help and we need money and we're paying this house and the bills won't pay themselves and there should always be food on the table and the gas prices are hiking and and... It's these things that really make me teary eyed and I just thank my dad for everything and for the way he is. He's truly a gentleman. I envy his character and fortitude. It's also one of my goals in life to succeed after him and become better for him, so he would know that he did a heavenly perfect job raising me as a son.
You know what, it's Sunday and it's Father's day. I've been convincing myself to call in sick today. To tell you the truth, I wasn't planning to go to work. And while I was on my desk, I kept thinking that BEING AT WORK TODAY WASN'T RIGHT. How I wished to be at home and spend some quiet time with my dad. I just wanted to be at home with him. But I knew that it wouldn't make him happy knowing that I skipped work. I don't want my dad to be disappointed at me. Because I know that he did a lot of sacrifice and dedication. And for that, I love him.
I just launched the Love Hina project GALLERY. It's a work in progress but I've put the link already. Check the left sidepanel, or go to love hina project and click gallery. I've manually uploaded 1944 images and posted 198 pages on the site. I assure you, the updates won't stop.
I've also revamped the Love Hina Project website design. And it'll keep on growing.
On a grim note, my laptop's still busted and I may need to wait for it until it gets fixed. Only after it's fixed that Love Hina project and the Gallery would continue updating.
I got stuck fixing my network connection with a vista desktop and a vista laptop. I'm not sure why it's not permitting the laptop to connect to the internet, and I'm not sure why the Vista desktop loses its connectivity. Anyway, I was behind my posting schedule for today, and it sucks ass because my effort of fixing everything is wasted. And now my schedule's ruined. I didn't come up with any solution at all. Oh man, I didn't have this experience using Win98 or XP. XP is still prime! I can't wait for Windows 7. Some people say it's out this October, some say it's out early next year. Anyway, I can't wait. I want to buy a PC Quad with Win7 on it.
changelog: added Lights by Spongecola song at Blog Hina radio. Check lower right sidepanel.
It was a quiet afternoon on my way to work. After boarding the bus, I slumped on my seat as I blew out a sigh thinking of the long day ahead. The bus pulled over after traveling a few distance. Then this boy and his mom boarded the bus. His mom put in their fare, the coins jingled, and they picked the seats in front of me. What happened next, I didn't see it coming.
The boy picked up the window seat and he laid down his head on his mother's lap. Then there was just a flashback that reeled in my head. I did the same thing when I was little; I would usually lay flat on the bus and rest on my mom's lap. And believe it or not, after seeing him do that, I was crying a bit. I was wiping my face, and I guess the lady behind me noticed me crying. I don't know what happened.
I guess I was sad. I was sad to face the truth that those days are over. I won't be able to go back to my childhood, the childhood days that I dearly love. And being as a young adult, I guess it's also sad to know that the transition is now happening; at my age, I shouldn't be depending on my mom -- or even dad -- anymore. I am most responsible for my actions. No more asking for allowance, those days are gone.
Halfway to work, I realized that I had to accept this fact. My mom's getting old and she's no longer at the age that would come and play tag. And I also have no more choice but to embrace these days. And I tell myself, I should be thankful for her sacrifice, blood, sweat, tear, patience and love.
I love my mom. I don't say that I love her face to face, but I do love her. And I hope she knows that I love her. I'm pulling myself to say 'I love you, Mom', in person but I just couldn't pull it. She's amazing. She does everything in the house, without bothering to wake me up. Even though it's noon and I'm still asleep, she'd finish every job without asking me for help.
I've never been disappointed with my mom. NEVER. How could I? Why would I? And the least thing that I'd want to happen is for my mom to be disappointed at me. I would never want that to happen. That's why I just swallow my uneasiness at work, where my job is so unpredictable. I don't want my mom or dad to know that I'm having difficulty working.
I know it's painful at first, but sometimes, there's some pain that goes deep and affect me. It would affect me to the point where I tend to be lazy and irresponsible. But nothing is more painful than your parents thinking that they've raised a disappointing son. I'm blessed that I haven't made them disappointed and I'm striving to do my best not to disappoint them in the future. Besides, my pain is nowhere near to the pain that I've caused them. I mean, it was a trip, a journey, a quest -- for the one ring -- for my mom to raise me. *laughs*
Even if there's no apparent big deal about Mother's day, Mom, I still love you.
It was all too surreal. I couldn't take it in. December of 2008, me and my mom were just talking about his fight against Leukemia. He was a fighter. Francis even posted pictures on his blog from the medical treatment. And then we watched his Francis M. video when he returned to Eat Bulaga, a noontime show, his home. I, for one, was happy to see him back in action. And it was then that I wished for him to keep fighting.
"I look forward to the pain as I know my journey is on full speed ahead. I will not be bold to say that without asking a favor from you all. PLEASE PRAY for me as I undergo treatment. Your prayers, as always, have sustained me. And am sure the Lord will listen to all our prayers. To His will I submit myself." -from the blog of Francis Magalona | http://francismagalona.multiply.com
Two in the morning. I knew. I discovered. While I was delighted to discover that Quest Crew had won the America's Best Dance Crew season 3, my brother sent me a message.
Francis Magalona passed away.
Francis has been one of my childhood bridges. He was so patriotic; he loved the Philippines so much. He expressed this love through what he did best, through music. He was named the King of Philippine Rap, The Man from Manila, The Mouth, The Master Rapper. He was one of my influences in the music scene. Not only did he rap and write songs, Francis was a jack of all trades kind of person. That's why he's my idol.
He was a photographer. He was a host. He was an actor. He was a scriptwriter. He had his own clothing line (FMCC - Francis Magalona Clothing Line), and he was also a producer. His work involved his love for his country and his love for the Filipino children. He motivated everyone through his music. And he became an icon in the Filipino Music industry. But despite his fame, Francis M. never let it get over his head. He was a very humble person; very Simple. He shared his blessings and he helped young artists and rappers alike to pursue their dreams.
I sat on my computer quiet. My delight didn't matter anymore. I just realized that a childhood bridge has passed away. And something from my past started to reel in.
I remembered running. I was playing tag with my cousins outside. Yes, I was in my Grandma's house. And while we were playing, I remember hearing "Kaleidoscope World" being played too -- maybe it came from neighbors. From then on, it got stuck in my head.
Back in front of my monitor, I was in plain nostalgia and my hands on the keyboard stopped for a couple of minutes.
KALEIDOSCOPE WORLD - FRANCIS M.
(kaleidoscope.swf - 987kb)
So many faces, so many races Different voices, different choices Some are mad, while others laugh Some live alone with no better half Others grieve while others curse And others mourn behind a big black hearse Some are pure and some half-bred Some are sober and some are wasted Some are rich because of fate and Some are poor with no food on their plate Some stand out while others blend Some are fat and stout while some are thin Some are friends and some are foes Some have some while some have most
Every color and every hue Is represented by me and you Take a slide in the slope Take a look in the kaleidoscope Spinnin' round, make it twirl In this kaleidoscope world
Some are great and some are few Others lie while some tell the truth Some say poems and some do sing Others sing through their guitar strings Some know it all while some act dumb Let the bass line strum to the bang of the drum Some can swim while some will sink And some will find their minds and think Others walk while others run You can't talk peace and have a gun Some are hurt and start to cry Don't ask me how don't ask me why Some are friends and some are foes Some have some while some have most
Every color and every hue Is represented by me and you Take a slide in the slope Take a look in the kaleidoscope Spinnin' round, make it twirl In this kaleidoscope world
There's love in his songs. There's no violence. It's about Patriotism. He loved the Philippines and he encouraged Filipinos, young and old, to do so as well.
Thank you so much for your songs. Thank you for the inspiration. Thank you for everything. Kiko, we love you. God Bless and you will never be forgotten.
Francis Magalona (October 4, 1964 - March 6, 2009)
That final exam was brutal. Physics, huh? We wrapped up the physics final exam today. But I didn't finish all 27 pages of it. Shading ovals is a waste of time. I don't know why teachers prefer it that way. If their reason is it's classier than circling answers, screw that. And the way they want it shaded, wow... don't want us to finish, huh? Meh, I don't care much what I get in the finals. It's a waste to rant on shading ovals too.
While I was busy SHADING the ovals, there was an announcement. It was so quiet and maybe I got engrossed to SHADING the ovals, that's why I jumped on my seat when the principal buzzed. It appears that there was another graffiti in the men's room. Another threat, huh? I don't know what type of threat it is. But they need to come up with a better excuse if they want to cancel the final's tomorrow. Oh, how far would a student go just to extend the time before the finals. They're kidding, right?
The police will be there at school. Yep, they're going to have police presence inside the building. *Are they inspecting bags too?* I don't want to take on Friday or next week. I want to finish everything tomorrow. Cheese and rice, it's my friend's 18th birthday and I want to eat. I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. On a serious note, I hope everything will be okay.
What's the big deal tomorrow? Why would they put up a threat tomorrow anyway? The term's over and there's nothing else left. The vice principal called me today and he told me that they'll resume tomorrow like any other normal day. I'm over 18 and I can handle the decision and stuff, but my mom's a bit worried. Don't get me wrong, my school had a number of threats before and nothing happened. Pretty much, it's just kids demanding attention.
Oh yeah, I'm having my last exam tomorrow, Psychology. Them kids should learn some classic and operant conditioning.
PROFILE
age: 19
sex: Male
location: classified
home country: Pilipinas
currently in: Canada
Jed David is a former BS Business Economics student in UP Diliman.
He's a freelance photographer, a freelance writer, solo webadmin, webdesigner and an active blogger.
He's currently working three part time jobs and having second thoughts of going to college.
He's a member of the modding community. He's an avid gamer and he wishes to have a PS3, XBOX 360 and a Wii this year. He revels in scrapbooking.
He likes fastfood. He sucks at Math and Physics. He's no literary writer.
He likes playing basketball but usually ends up with a few broken bones. He's so lame he gets nosebleed on his first step on the stairs.
He's such a loser... *negative remarks*. Overall, he's eccentric.
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welcome to can you feel love hina...
PROFILE
I've manually uploaded 
I didn't come up with any solution at all. Oh man, I didn't have this experience using Win98 or XP. 
XP is still prime! I can't wait for Windows 7. Some people say it's out this October, some say it's out early next year. Anyway, I can't wait. I want to buy a PC Quad with Win7 on it.
It was a quiet afternoon on my way to work. After boarding the bus, I slumped on my seat as I blew out a sigh thinking of the long day ahead. The bus pulled over after traveling a few distance. Then this boy and his mom boarded the bus. His mom put in their fare, the coins jingled, and they picked the seats in front of me. What happened next, I didn't see it coming.
It was all too surreal. I couldn't take it in. December of 2008, me and my mom were just talking about his fight against Leukemia. He was a fighter. Francis even posted pictures on his blog from the medical treatment. And then we watched his Francis M. video when he returned to Eat Bulaga, a noontime show, his home. I, for one, was happy to see him back in action. And it was then that I wished for him to keep fighting.
Shading ovals is a waste of time. I don't know why teachers prefer it that way. If their reason is it's classier than circling answers, screw that. And the way they want it shaded, wow... don't want us to finish, huh? Meh, I don't care much what I get in the finals. 
It's a waste to rant on shading ovals too.
Why would they put up a threat tomorrow anyway? The term's over and there's nothing else left. The vice principal called me today and he told me that they'll resume tomorrow like any other normal day. I'm over 18 and I can handle the decision and stuff, but my mom's a bit worried. Don't get me wrong, my school had a number of threats before and nothing happened. Pretty much, it's just kids demanding attention.
